To my friends ( even if you do not believe as I do...which is many of you!)
I appreciate all of the support and concern you have all had for me the last few years as I have began my persuit of truth in history, politics and religion and the willingness you have to still remain my friends watching me as I have gone through multiple stages from being angry, confused, impatient and a variety of others. Thank you!
This road has been extremely difficult and one that I feel is something that will apparently stick around for awhile. The passion I have rather than dissipating, gains strength each day but new lessons are learned on how my attitudes are formed when speaking to others.
In the beginning I realized I was verbally beating people over the head to get them to understand what I had learned about the listed topics and how far removed we are from where I believe we should be. To me there is a tremendous amount of urgency because I have felt that time is of the essence.
For example, I had a lifelong friend come to visit as he usually does for some winter activities and the entire Christmas break he was here I beat him with issues about worldviews, politics, religion and current events and was relentless, probably destroyed our frienship and his chance of any relaxation as well. We are still friends.
I still feel those urgencies and the need to educate others on what I had learned, perhaps even more. I have come to a place where I realize I seem to have been ineffective in having people understand what I feel is important.I have been trying to figure out a way to get people interested in what I write and to research the material I speak of to challenge what they read or hear on the media because I understand the dangers of a biased media and the direction of this country.
To make it clearer, In the beginning, It is as if I were using a 4X8 chunk of wood and as I gained the knowledge and experience I have come to use a 1x2. Im still workin on it.
As a friend told me: It is easier to attract with honey than ...well you get it.
The interesting part of this journey is that I became a Chrsitian years ago and lived "according to the world"until about two years ago when I had realized that I was no more a Christian than a non-Christian. As far as I had read most Christians weren't even Christians gfiving those who were a bad name.(Either not doing what we are called to do...Phelps comes to mind, the "god hates fags guy?" This is not Christ's techings!)
I began to read, to learn, to educate myself and read whatever I could that pertained to history and Chrsitianity in America. It then progressed to philosophy, anthrpology, science, law and hovered around aplogetics.
The more I read the more angry I became, the lies became more obvious and I realized that things were seriously wrong with the diretion we were going as a nation. I began trying to tell people about what I had learned and it continued to fall on "deaf ears".
My excitement, frustrations were being taken as I was hateful, omnipotent and that I knew more than anyone else. That I was pushing my opinion on others. To me they weren't opinion at all, they were facts. ( I will never try to purposely elevate others above myself)
Over time I have continued to read about how I can become effective in reaching out to others and it has been a process ever since. I believe in the guidance from the Lord. I believe He has a plan for me as He does for everyone and it is all in His time, not mine. Why he didnt make me effective right away I will never know (Dont think I didnt pray for that every second!) but I sure am interested to know what is next for my life.
My friend today asked me if it were possible to take a break and write about something good rather than the same things I usually write about and I told him I would try. (Why would people be interested in knowing about my personal life is beyond me) Here goes:
I have a wonderful family of six. I am blessed with four awesome boys, 22,16, 14, and 11 and will be grandparents in September. They are all fantastic and I could not have asked for better, I only hope they know it.
I have an unbelieveable wife, of 12 years that can only be a gift from God. Beautiful, intelligent and has a gift, of among other things, discernment that I have come to rely on, resisting at first but giving in later over time because we wouldnt be where we are without her input (Dont tell her I said that!)
Our family enjoys wakeboarding, snowboarding and hanging out together at home. I spend alot of time reading and praying that God will use me according to His will and I promised Him that if He called me I would not deny him ( Boise Pride parade was a perfect example) My desire is to reach out to others in truth, in Love and with the grace of God (which at times doesnt seem like I have done extremely well). I am a work in progress as we all are.
We have had our struggles, as most have, and have made it through them because of our faithful dedication not only to eachother but to the Lord and His guidance.
Our family has had to endure a much larger share of what I post and was for a larger time 24/7.
So for those who read and find me relentless, abrasive and agressive, think about how my family must feel. They have stuck with me and perhaps more will when they understand that although these posts are difficult to digest I do not mean any malice toward any of the readers.
The reason why I say this is because I come to you with a pure heart. Although I apprear frustrated, which at times I am, I intend no divisiveness,hatred, evil or mean spirited attitude only to challenge people to think. To entertain an alternative to the mainstream media, religious perspectives, their continuity and consider the possibilities of it's truthfulness using common sense and logic.
I owe my friends and family a tremendous debt of gratitude. I thank my friends and family for standing beside me, even at times when they probably wished they didn't have to.
I thank facebook for the ability to reunite friends whom I thought were "lost forever" and having them still have the impact they do on my life, You guys know who I am talking about!